Many marriages are in trouble and need a lot more attention than couples are giving to each other. I see way too many fairly healthy men and women in my office who could have avoided the turmoil and distress they create by nurturing their marriages on a regular basis. Marriages don't just grow on their own. And love does not carry the day when people are lonely, bored, or neglected. 

The creativity that couples find for pleasing each other when they date is wonderful. The little surprises that each bring to or make for each other are special and help the marriage thrive. How often do couples continue these courting gestures once married? One year? Five years? How often do you and your spouse do special things for each other outside of birthdays and special holidays? 

Some couples look at me when I ask that question and shrug. We don't date, they say. Marriage doesn't need to end dating. Marriage doesn't need to relegate dating to dinner and a movie, either. Married couples need to enjoy each other's company away from children early on in their marriages and in later years, too, when they are alone. If we don't nurture the relationship, what happens to it? Perhaps, it becomes like a large plant that looks pretty for a while but underneath, it may be dying due to lack of water and nutrients. Eventually, the leaves turn brown and fall off... or clients hurt and they bring their sadness and loss to a counseling center.

See my article:DATE NIGHT REVISITED

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